She Didn’t Change the World

This piece was inspired, written and posted in the hour of 1:30am – 2:30am so please excuse me if it’s not very good.  The prompts this week have gotten me to do some really interesting thinking.  Maybe it’s all insane, but at least I’m doing the thinking.  Anyways, here goes!

She Didn’t Change the World

Her sunken cheeks and hollow eyes had become the features that defined her, but underneath she was still just as beautiful.  I was still able to see the occasional spark of life in her green eyes.

In the end she spent all of her days in bed, separated from nature and cut off from beauty.  It brought her to the end of her long battle, when she could no longer go and stand hours in her woods.  The little fight left in her was swallowed by a monster named Depression.

The monster came for me, too.  For a long time, it held me captive.  Sometimes I still wonder if the monster has me.  But I won’t stop fighting.  I’ll keep going for her.

Her final breaths were the hardest for her.  I wish I could say they were the hardest for me too.  But that was on the day of the burial.  When Dad asked me to say a few words.

     A few words…I thought, How can a few words do my mother justice?  But Dad was insistent so I planned those words two hundred times, trying to find a way to do my mother the justice she deserved.

The day came of course, and I stood with sweating palms and knocking knees, trying still to say something worthwhile for my mother.  Finally, I swallowed back my tears, brushed the blond hair out of my face, and my shaky voice could be heard.

“My dad asked me to say a few words for her.  So Mom, if you’re listening somewhere, I want you to know that you were truly remarkable.  Mom just know, I’m thankful.  You didn’t know it, but those thousands of socks you washed, every meal you made, it changed the world.”  I choked and had to blow my nose before I went on.  “An-and to those of you who think my mom–special as she was–didn’t change the whole world, you’re right.  She didn’t change the whole world; just mine.  I’ll miss you Mommy.”

Be sure to see Inspiration Monday to see all of the pieces!
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About Jinx

I'm a writer, what else is there to tell?

13 thoughts on “She Didn’t Change the World

  1. You sucked me in at the beginning and made me cry at the end. Great work.

  2. […] Jinx and two and three […]

  3. Indigo Spider says:

    OK, you made me cry. Especially the end “I’ll miss you mommy.” I need to go get a tissue.

  4. Jinx says:

    You guys have no idea how happy it makes me that I’ve succeeded in making anyone cry when they read my work. I consider it to be a huge compliment. 😛

  5. jenna says:

    This is so beautiful. This strikes me so deeply! I’m reading your words, and from the very beginning, I’m picturing myself in the same situation, sharing the same feelings and experiences, only with my father. This is awesome. Thank you for such a beautiful peace and such comfort in finding community in the experience described by your words.

  6. pattisj says:

    This is beautiful. The circumstances are sad, but the love is so real.

  7. I love this. I, too, thought of writing something about my mother for this piece but decided against it. You did it just beautifully. My heart was there the whole time.

  8. i got your link on one that you commented where you echoed something i said on wordpress. this was fantastic. even if it did make me cry.

    keep up the wonderful work.

    marantha jenelle

    marantha’s memories, mumbles and meanderings on wordpress

  9. Jinx, I created something for all of those that have shown me so much kindness, consideration and encouragement here on wordpress. It is a little award that I created myself just for use here on the site. I hope you will like it.

    If you would like to post it on one of your pages, simply click on the link, which will be in this message, then, when the new page opens, simply save it using “save file as” to your computer (be sure when you type the file name to use this format…”file name.jpg), then simply load it onto your page as you would any other image when you create a new post.

    I love your writing style, you pack a lot of emotion in some of your work. It actually gives me comfort to know that so many of the writers here on wordpress are not afraid to show emotion in their stories and blogs. Many have made me actually cry, this one of yours in particular, but it was for a good reason, it touched my heart.

    Best wishes for success, happiness, good luck and always and forever, loads and loads of love.

    Here is the link, just click on it and it will open a new page, which you can then save if you wish to keep my gift.

    marantha jenelle
    of
    marantha’s memories, mumbles and meanderings
    here on wordpress

    • Jinx says:

      Aww…thank-you! You have no idea how much that means to me, especially when right now, I’m not sure if I’m even good enough to write my book yet.

  10. SWEETIE, YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, DO NOT DOUBT THAT FOR A SINGLE MILLI-SECOND. YOU ARE VERY TALENTED AND YOU SHOULD LET THOSE TALENTS GROW. NEVER, EVER DOUBT YOURSELF, FOR DOUBT AND FEAR WILL ONLY DULL THE VIBRANCY OF THE COLORS OF YOUR DREAMS.

    BEST WISHES, AND KEEP WRITING, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TALENT.

    MARANTHA

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